Memories
by Midnight Noel
Summary: Anna is having trouble letting Jeremy go. Set before 2x22. Hope you like it :D


She could see him, every minute of every day. She saw how he gazed longingly at Elena's best friend, and it took a lot for her not to intervene. She experienced his joy, sadness and everything in between. She would give almost anything for him to see her, to have just one last kiss, or to hold his hand only for another second. That particular night the girl was standing against the doorframe, secretly watching him. Anna looked up from the floorboards and glanced at the bed, a rip of pain enveloped in her chest like she was being stabbed, his handsome untidy brown hair glistened from the light of the bedside lamp where his fingers were busily scribbling something on a notepad. She felt tears' beginning to well up in her eyes, missing him was one of the worst feelings in the world. Her infinite amount of time could be spent watching over someone else, but the only person Anna cared about on the side of the living was Jeremy Gilbert.

The girl longed for the days that were spent watching movies in the room that he occupied now, his arm around her keeping her safe from all the danger. When they first met in the library, the two had their own agendas but it didn't take long for Anna to actually start liking him and vice-versa. She gazed longingly at him, his furrowed brow deep in thought, and not the trace of a smile on his full lips. Jeremy was older now; sixteen. It was obvious; his hair was shorter and he was more mature. Anna was stuck forever at fifteen. It wouldn't be long before he went to college, got married, had kids, and forgot Anna entirely. They could've spent eternity together as vampires, traveling the world and staying young forever.

She crawled next to him, sitting a safe distance away; there was no reason to get more attached than she already was. Sitting near Jeremy made Anna feel whole again, not healed but as if they'd never been away from each other in the first place. The pair of them had nights like that, just sitting in quiet, the only noise being crickets making melodies of their own. Jeremy drew and she watched, head on his shoulder. They could've made out, but this time spent between them in silence was cherished. That's not to say there wasn't kissing, because there was and it was, well spectacular. But looking back on it, a particularly steamy make out session seemed like Anna had seen it in a movie, not experienced it. That was probably the worst part, not remembering the tiny details about the excitement or passion she and Jeremy had shared. She couldn't help but wonder if he did. Anna sighed, she had a special reason for being there, but wasn't ready to close the door on the boy just yet, only a couple more minutes than it would be done. There would be no more interfering in the life of Jeremy Gilbert. He could kiss the witch, get married, and have kids to his heart's content.

Anna took the slip of paper out of her jeans and read it over to herself. _I have to do this_ she thought _I need closure and he needs to know how I feel._ Silently, Anna maneuvered over to his dresser and placed the slip of paper ever so gently on top. As she was about to walk out the door for the last time, she had a sudden urge. Anna wanted to see his drawing. But why couldn't she, this probably the last time she would see him, alive anyway.

Anna immediately gasped, the picture was a portrait, not just any person either; it was her. It was stunning the shading, everything. A realization slapped her in the face. That's how Anna looked the last time he had seen her. Jeremy eyes were red-rimmed and watery. He actually missed her. Her eyes were like a weak dam, water was filling up, and when the dam broke, the water wouldn't be stopped. All this time thinking he had moved on and he hadn't, but he needed to, and so did she. In the corner where the artist's signature went there was a small note:

**I'll never forget you Anna**

Then her dam broke. It was like a flood of tears streaming down her face. Anna wanted to grab him and hold him more than anything. She wanted to tell him how she was right there and she was never leaving. But she couldn't. No, he had to move on. As much as it pained her, Anna blew one last kiss in Jeremy's direction and picked up the note on the dresser. _He doesn't need this message to remind him about us, he has the memories that we shared _she thought, tears pouring down her face. All the things they experienced flashed before her eyes; the library, when he found out about her secret. A memory that's all that's left of what they shared. Anna backed out of the door, forcing herself not to look back.

When she reached the sidewalk, the wind freezing her tears to her face, she unfolded the note and gently and read the words to herself:

Jeremy, I'll always love you -Anna

Then Anna dropped the note, whipped away her tears and disappeared into the night sky.

The note just lay there, a reminder of what once was, and what no longer existed. But in a way it did still exist. When Jeremy is married and has kids, he'll look at old high school pictures and remember the girl who changed everything, and when Anna sees a boy with dark shaggy hair on one of her many trips around the world, she remember the first boy she truly loved. For it existed still in the minds of Anna and Jeremy and memories we are determined to keep, are never really forgotten, nor are the people involved.


End file.
